name: amber
age: 22
location: new orleans
aim: sapgirly mail work
April 25, 2001
Today and yesterday, my school hosted an Every Fifteen Minutes presentation. It started out pretty lame and boring, but then as the day progressed, it got worse and worse (emotion-wise). So yesterday morning the juniors and seniors at our school watched a mock crash scene. One kid was "drunk," one was DOA and two were badly injured--one was sent to our local hospital and another helicoptered to the big one in Walnut Creek. I didn't think that was so bad, but then every 15 minutes during the day, someone else would "die." What got to me is one of my really good friends "died," and then she wasn't there the rest of the day. It didn't really bother me until this morning when she wasn't in the class that I have with her. Then later on, there was a "memorial service" for the kids that died. The parents got up and gave a speech like their son or daughter was really dead. Half the school was in tears. Anyway, I wanted to see my friend but she didn't come to lunch. I assume she went home with my mom but I really just wanted to give her a big hug and be grateful that she isn't dead. It almost brings tears to my eyes now to think that it could be lost so easily. So DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE. Not that I would anyway. I think it's goddamn common sense. But I can't wait to see my friend tomorrow morning, really. Man, what would I do if someone I know really did die? It's hard enough when it's just someone I see.
Quote of the day, blatantly copied from TheSpark: "My future's so bright, I gotta wear shades. This brightness is due to tremendous flames." Goddamn do I love TheSpark. I really do. Rush on over there and send me SparkMatch letters. I'm Listless. Mwah, to be annoying.
Couple things to say. First. I meant to hop on here and talk all about my participation in The Day Of Silence Project, which is a vehicle for people to better understand people with alternative sexual preferences. Though I am not sure whether or not I myself am a dyke, I have a friend named Raphael in my Spanish class who...well...is. Anyway, in support of my friend, I wore all black and carried around a little card that said (and I quote): "Please understand my reasons for not speaking today. I support lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender rights. People who are silent today believe that laws and attitudes should be inclusive of people of all sexual orientations. The Day of Silence is to draw attention to those who have been silenced by hatred, oppression, and prejudice. Think about the voices you are not hearing. What can you do to end the silence?" I thought it would be somewhat easy...but it wasn't. I actually talked quite a few times, but I can't help it. I'm a wise-butt. I'll admit it. However, the silence thing actually really gave me some pretty cool insight. I've been pondering whether or not to make it a pretty regular thing not only to annoy people but to give myself a day to think every week. Tomorrow is Wednesday and I'm still wondering whether or not I should go for it. I may. I may not. In any case, I got in an itty tiff with these people that wanted to sit in the seat I was in. I could not speak, so I expected my friends to speak up for me and say (fill in the blank--preferably a supportive "your name isn't written on it"/"who are you to tell her what to do"...etc). The funny thing is...none of my "friends" said a dang word, except for John Linschied, the only person to ever grab my butt in the history of my dancing with guys I am not dating. So I figure I'm going to be nicer to John and a little wary of my table-mates. Man...you know...silence tells you a lot about people. I think it also gave me some perspective on what it's like to be mute. No one understands sign language. I swear to God, it's a freaking plague. I only know the alphabet but that's enough to exchange a few ideas with someone. These people don't know jack. It's kind of depressing. ...I think that's all I have to say about that.
Second. Passover started on Saturday, much to my regret. I hate Passover very much because it involves the most ...involvement on my part in a religion I don't believe or follow. I have to sit down to dinner and a night of reading interpretation of the Bible, no less, and on top of that, my house has to be cleaned out for 8 days and I'm not supposed to eat leavened bread (anything with yeast). Needless to say, that sucks. But it has to be dealt with and I'm dealing with it...by eating outside my house.
Third. I've joined a hula dancing halau (a troop). Just like everything else I do, I have to be the best at this...and I"m not. It's sorely disappointing, but I'm practicing and learning. I did take Tahitian dance at 24 Hour (Fitness), but it was more centered on weight loss. The girls have to tell me how to position my feet and hips right and everything. I pretty much have the not-moving-the-shoulder-thing down, which is good. Some of the chicks that just started with me look really bad. I supposed we'll all get better though because the girls that have come down from Sacramento are all really really good.
Four. Ever since..uh...Palm Sunday or whatever day it is that you give up whatever you're giving up for Lent, I've been trying not to curse. It hasn't worked exactly and until today, I hadn't said the c-word that means penis. But I said it today so I'm completely not pure. But I've been working on it and I certainly curse less than I used to. I'll be looking forward to being able to write it, though, come Sunday and Easter.
Five. There is no five, but it's one of my favourite numbers. Peace!
So my very own copy of Angst! arrived at my door step yesterday, care of Kiki. I have to say I'm somewhat disappointed in the quality of the wording in the book. I was hoping for something outside of ...well, what I'm used to peer-wise. And I guess that's just how it goes, you know? But in any case, the design is totally awesome and if you send me your copy of the book, I'll sign it and give it back to you, as long as you pay shipping. :)
Okay...so I said I was grudgingly going to my junior prom, but it was actually really cool. We ended up cosmic bowling and I was pretty good with keeping myself happy all night, not dying to dance with this one guy who won't even look at me and freaking out about it (because that's just my nature). It happens at almost every dance and I won't say it didn't here, but I was pretty much able to keep myself away from that. Oh, yeah. My school puts on a DVTV thing every morning (closed-circuit. Where the money be at....) Yeah, so anyway, I'm watching clips from the junior and at some point, the camera caught me doing one of those yesss (you know, the arm goes up and comes down) and they backed it up and played it like 6 times under the caption "Bust a move!" I was mortified, so to speak like the Seventeen girls. Nah, it wasn't that bad. It was pretty funny. I'm sitting in class and I"m like "That's ME!" Shame, shame.
